


You can be happy, I think

by orphan_account



Category: Black Friday - Team StarKid
Genre: Cameo Appearance by Gwyneth Paltrow because I'm still not over the vagina candle, F/M, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Moving On, POV Lex Foster, Stream of Consciousness, kinda??
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-11
Updated: 2020-06-11
Packaged: 2021-03-03 23:47:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,044
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24664102
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: After California, after her Big Break, after everything, Lex thinks about her mother.
Relationships: Hannah Foster & Ethan Green, Hannah Foster & Lex Foster, Lex Foster & Lex Foster's Mother, Lex Foster/Ethan Green
Kudos: 31





	You can be happy, I think

**Author's Note:**

> I can and will project onto Lex Foster All The Time.
> 
> but yeah basically i had thoughts about my dad and then i wrote this.
> 
> enjoy :)

Lex’s big break comes two years after they get to California.

She takes her bows with the rest of the actors on stage and she can see Hannah and Ethan in the third row, grins brighter than the house lights. Hannah has put her ear defenders back on to guard against the clapping but she’s bouncing ever so slightly and Lex wants to cry at the sight. Ethan is making more noise than everyone else combined because of course he is and he looks as proud as no one ever has and things are good.

When she gets backstage there’s a lady in a pantsuit waiting for her. She says her name’s Jan and she’s an agent.

She wants Lex to sign on with her because she’s got ‘a buddy making a film that’s just perfect for you, sweetheart’ and Lex has to sit down for a second.

The audition is the most stressful thing she’s ever done in her life - Hannah’s third birthday not included - and the casting director’s an asshole but Lex has survived seven Black Fridays on the front lines so she just tightens her jaw and gives it her all. She gets the part and the casting director says she looks like ‘the kind of bitch that makes it in showbiz’. She’s pretty sure it’s a compliment and she would be holding Ethan back from punching him anyway so it doesn’t really make a difference.

Ethan has no idea who any of the really famous people she’s working with are and that gets a mixed reception when he and Hannah show up for the final day of shooting. He tells actual James Cameron that he’s never really been one for movies and Hannah gives real life Gwyneth ‘Goop Lab’ Paltrow an origami spider and Lex is ready to shrivel up into a ball and die now, okay?

They make it home before Lex collapses.

Just barely.

\---

She’s meant to be at a meeting - one of those ones where everyone’s dissecting her life to make her more marketable - when she meets the girl with runny eyeliner.

“I was trying, I  _ am  _ trying!” She’s sobbing all over the place and the whole scene is very melodramatic. The woman she’s shouting with storms off in a huff and she sits down on the steps of the talent agency and cries.

“It’s okay,” says Lex when the security guard tries to get her to leave, “she’s with me.” She doesn’t know why she says it as much as she doesn’t know why she sits down next to her instead of going upstairs.

“Do I know you from somewhere?”

“I’m in movies.”   
  


“Oh.”

They sit in silence for a few minutes.

“Can I bum a cigarette?”

“Sure.”

Lex doesn’t smoke much anymore, especially not in the house. They’ve banned alcohol, too, after one of Hannah’s nightmares was made worse by the fact that Lex and Ethan were splitting a six pack in the kitchen when she came looking. Lex thinks this one is allowed, though. She’s having a long day.

“I’m sharing cigarettes with a girl who’s in movies,” says Runny Eyeliner.

Lex nods good-naturedly and takes a drag.

And immediately coughs up half a lung because Jesus fucking Christ, she used to do this multiple times a day?

“That’s disgusting,” she croaks out between coughs. “Has it always been that disgusting?”

“Yup,” says Runny Eyeliner. Lex wonders how she’s going to phrase her next question.

“What were you trying?”

“What?”

“Earlier, you said you were trying.”

Runny Eyeliner sniffs. “‘M trying to get sober. Y’know. Rehab and that.”

“Oh.”

Someone comes looking for her, eventually, and she has to go to the stupid meeting. She doesn’t pay attention. When she comes back outside the girl’s gone.

Lex sits on the steps for a bit longer and thinks about her mother.

\---

Hannah’s fallen asleep halfway through  _ Moana  _ when she brings it up to Ethan.

“Do you think I should call my mom?”

“What?” Ethan’s face goes from relaxed to worried in seconds and Lex loves him more than anything in that moment.

“I don’t mean… I just…” She struggles to articulate it. “I met an alcoholic today. Or an addict, whatever. She was trying to get sober.”

Ethan chews on the inside of his lip the way he does when he can’t make his mind up about something. “I think… I think that it’s a bad idea, but it’s up to you. I’ll be there if you decide to do it.”

Hannah wakes up to them kissing and pretends to vomit.

“Gross. Webby says it’s illegal.”

They laugh for hours that night.

\---

The PR company wants her to talk about her childhood. She says she’ll think about it and they call enough that Ethan has to tell them to fuck off.

She agrees to one interview so long as the proceeds go to the Autism Society of America - Hannah’s idea - and they set it up on a Thursday so she can have a long weekend afterwards.

After it’s over, and she’s been assured by Jan that she’ll get authority over the final cut, she goes home to Ethan and cries.

The interview goes viral and she gains seven thousand followers overnight. People call her an ‘inspiration’ on Twitter.

She doesn’t feel like an inspiration; she feels tired. Ethan and Jan team up to turn away any more interviews and Lex deletes most of her social media.

Hannah makes her a little clay spider. It shouldn’t make her feel so much better but it does.

“Webby says rest.”

Lex, for once, does exactly what Webby says.

\---

In the end she doesn’t call her mother. She sends a cheque in the post with a note.

The world seems a little lighter.

\---

_ Mom, _

_ I made it as an actress. Hannah’s getting the help she needs at school. We’re happy. I don’t ever want to see you again, that hasn’t changed, but I don’t want you to be miserable the way I did when we left. _

_ This money is for you. You can do what you want with it but I’ve included a pamphlet for the rehab center in Clivesdale. _

_ You can be happy, I think. I’ve seen photos of you from before everything. Give it a try. _

_ Lex. _


End file.
